hi.

your blog is gone. your watch stopped working. what the hell's happening?

you know what's a little weird? planning a wedding, an art exhibition opening, and a wake, feels a lot similar. it's kind of funny, in a tragic sort of way.

haay. i want to not be bereaved na. how's that. it feels like a substance that's already mixed into my bloodstream and i can't even dialysis it out of me. like i'm tainted with some sort of bereavement toxin that's making everything in my body function just a tad bit slower, heavier than usual. hindi naman excruciating pain, more of general heaviness lang. and there are days when it even feels tangible. the contaminated blood feels thicker as it passes through my chest.

okay, obvious bang i'm marathoning House MD episodes?

so what is my point. the fuck if i know. what i do know, is yesterday was one of the biggest nights of my life. i am happy and grateful and excited and scared and everything else in between.

today though, i'm missing you. heaps.