when i was a child i was sure i'd grow up to be this graceful, confident person. i thought i'd go through life knowing what to do all the time. that i'd walk around parties in my stilettos with a drink in one hand, a cigarette in another, exchanging witticisms with a bunch of uber smart and well-dressed people. i thought i'd grow up to be, well, grown up. never in my wildest dreams did i think i'd end up being a blundering idiot.
gliding. that's the word i'm looking for.
i thought i would glide through life with a sassy score playing in the background.
instead i got me.
it wouldn't be so bad if i weren't so hard on me, really. i guess that's it. sassy confident people make as much mistakes as i do, maybe even more. but they don't really feel the urge to jump from a building in the face of a blunder.
and why is it always about me anyway.
ugh. i am sooooo over (yes) ME.
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